Canada Grabs Gold, Star Settles for Silver

Golden The CN Tower lights up in shades of gold late Feb. 27, 2010 to celebrate Canada’s 13 gold medals at the Vancouver Winter Olympics. | David Cooper / The Star

Whether or not the men’s hockey team beats the U.S. in the gold medal final and despite lagging far behind the Americans in the overall medal count, the Canadian Olympic Committee’s Own The Podium program can claim almost complete vindication after matching the Winter Olympics record for the most gold medals won by a country.

You just won’t hear that from The Toronto Star.

In a classic example of burying the lead, the Star’s headline boasted that "Canadians own the gold" but completely ignored the fact that the Canadian team matched the record for gold medals: 13, shared with brilliant Finland and the juiced totalitarians of the Soviet Union.

The story oozed national pride and was smattered with other superlatives: that Canada would take home the most gold at this Olympics, that Canada set a record for the most gold won by a host country at any Winter Olympics, that the team bested its own impressive record of 24 overall medals from the previous games, that Canada shed, in style, the rather embarrassing distinction of being only country to host an Olympic Games without winning a gold medal on home soil. That’s all awesome. But wherefore the biggest triumph of them all, and the fact that the Canadians have a chance at beating the world record gold haul with a hockey win this afternoon against the U.S.?

And that’s after an earlier chance for the paper’s to burnish the country’s new athletic credential immediately after the men’s curling team won that baker’s dozen medallion. Not a word on the record, let alone the fact that Canada did it at home and without the, ahem, irresistible forces of the economic dialectic of materialist history behind them (à la “Rocky IV”).

The Canadian Press did better, with the CBC headline "Canada sets Olympic gold record." Also awesome. Also hedged by gee-golly-gosh whuda-thot bullshit. Here’s the lede:

Who knew? Canada has rocked the Vancouver Olympics in a way nobody anticipated.

What?

The COC’s program was called Own The fucking Podium. Canada came in third in overall medal count in Turin and was gunning for first this time around. And apparently plenty of observers thought Canada would have the best shot at taking home the most gold (12+!) and even the most medals, according to respected numbers junkie (and big Team USA fan) Nate Silver.

(Worth mentioning: If we don’t count the amazing athletes who came in fourth and fifth, who other than Plato should care who came in second and third?)

Is the CP putting on affectations of humility, like some kind of Mike Pearson routine without the actually being unprecedented in universal awesomeness? Is the Star not willing to jinx the gold medal hockey game against a powerful and driven American squad? Or what? I can’t tell. But if the Canadian athletes who actually went out there and won the medals were as lily-livered as some of the reporters covering them, I think the Germans and the Americans would have that much more hardware to gloat about.

But it wasn’t to be. Awesome.